Other Lovely Things

some funny lovethings:

Is it ???

You´ve met The One. You want that person. And it seems like he/she wants you too, but what does he/she really want? A serious relationship or just your body?

Sometimes you don´t have much intuition, or maybe you are too much in love to see what´s really going on. You can even be blind when the truth is obvious... and then you feel burnt, used and hurt...

I don´t want that to happen to you, so I´ve made these lists:

 

He/she wants YOU...

Calling just out of the blue...Your partner calls you when you are at work, or when he/she knows for sure that you are at home, just to say hi. Or maybe he/she sends you cute SMS?

Your partner talks about you with his/her friends... And now I don´t mean that your partner talks about how you are in bed, no I mean when he/she talks about your family, job, birthday etc. And your partners friends tells you what he/she have told them.

Your partner is nice to your friends... Even if your partner doesn´t like them. He/she does this because: a) to please you, or b) to be near you.

Your partner listens to you... When you are talking with your partner he/she looks you right in the eyes and doesn´t notice the people around you...

Your partner is punctual... "My mum always told me that it was rude to arrive too early and not letting the girl get enough time to fix her make-up... If I have a date at exactly 8, I arrive 8 minutes past 8. If I should turn up twelve minutes past 8, it would be too late." a male friend told me. Maybe it´s like this when you are in love?

Your partner is positive about your ideas... Your partner says "How nice!" in spite of the fact that he/she hates what you´re doing, your ideas etc. Love can make everyone doing things he/she really wouldn´t like to do...Like horseriding, watching a hockeygame...

Your partner doesn´t talk about past relationships... It´s ok if your partner tells you that he/she felt bad when they broke up and it´s ok if your partner says it without being angry and that it´s all over now. But if your partner talks about what they did, what the ex did, well, then your partner isn´t the right partner for you. Maybe your partner still loves the ex...

You haven´t had sex though you´ve been together for weeks...

Your partner talks with you after you´ve had sex... He/she wants to know how you feel, what you´re going to do this weekend etc.

You´re still going out on dates... I say it again, your partner likes you so much that he/she needs to see you often.

Your partner says IT... "I´ve totally fallen for you..." or something like that...

 

He/she just wants your body...

You open your heart and your partner doesn´t... Sure, there are a lot of silent people out there, but when you express your feelings and your partner doesn´t, well...

Friends are more important... If your partner "forgets" your plans for the evening when a friend calls, then he/she doesn´t want a close relationship.

Your partner hates talking about the future... Everything is perfect. Until you ask if your partner have started saving money for your summertrip or what color your bedroom should have when you move together. You don´t get any answers because your partner doesn´t see you in his/her future...

Your partner keeps you secret. Has your partner invited you home yet? Do you know what job your partner has, have you met his/her friends? Does your partners parents know you exist?

Your partner can´t love anyone... There are people who just aren´t ready to have a close relationship. You notice that when he/she says that it´s hard expressing feelings and your partner doesn´t do anything about it. You need a second chance. With a new partner.

Your partner just wants to see you in private. Your partner doesn´t want to go out, not to the movies, not to your friends house. It almost seems like your partner is ashamed of you?

You know that your partner have had a lot of loveaffairs. Ok your partner can have changed when he/she met you but...

Your partner never introduces you as "my girlfriend/boyfriend".

 

Love is all around us
And so the feeling goes

Yes friends, It's that time of the year when u lucky girls & us unlucky guys have to deal with some tough questions posed by the girl we supposedly gave our hearts to.

Questions posed by the feminine kind are :

#1 What are u thinking of ?
#2 Do you love me ?
#3 Do I look Fat ?
#4 Do you think she looks prettier than me ?
#5 What would you do if I died ?

These questions are hazardous and could cause heartbreak if the guy answers truthfully. So let's deal with them one at a time.

(Note of the layout editor here: never answer any of these questions in any way! Just jump of a cliff. Believe me, you'll be better off. - Oliver)

#1 What are u thinking of ?

Your answer without any hesitation should be something about, her making your life better than what it was and how lucky you are to met an intelligent, pretty & caring person like her.

A truthful answer to the above question would be

a) Pamela Anderson
b) Cricket
c) Sachin Tendulkar
d) Pamela again

None of the four choices would work.

#2 Do you love me ?

Your answer should be an Emphatic "YES" or maybe a "YES, Darling " Any of the following and get ready to run a mile

a) I guess so
b) Do I have to say it ?
c) What's Love ?
d) I love my Mom.

#3 Do I look Fat ?

This question needs to be answered with a loud ringing "NO". Anything less than 80 decibels and your girl will
definitely think that your lying.

Also answers that are potentially dangerous are

a) Not much
b) No not Fat just festively Plump!
c) No you certainly don't look like Tina Munim
d) Now that you've mentioned it, perhaps...

#4 Do you think she looks prettier than me ?

Without battling an Eyelid your answer should be "No way. Your much prettier" Honest answers that could give you a Black EYE are

a) So what if she's pretty I still love you.
b) Yes she looks pretty but I'm not sure who wins
c) She's not pretty, slightly thin perhaps, but not pretty
d) Yes but she has a boyfriend

#5 What would you do if I died ?

The honest answer would be " Go camping with the boys "
However to avoid a burst of tears it's best to employ the following statement. " I'll remember you all my life "
or " I'll never ever fall in love again "

Other truthful answers which should be avoided at all costs are

a) Get married
b) Celebrate with six pack in hand
c) Buy Cigars you always wanted to smoke
d) Stick pics of Pamela Anderson all over your room

Well I tried my best to handle all the tough and seemingly innocuous questions that actually are minefields like those in Bosnia and Cambodia. But if in case any of you guys caught your foot in your mouth there is no better Damage Control Exercise than Buying your girl a Diamond Necklace and adding " I couldn't find a Bigger Diamond "

 

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